The BBC have just announced Gillian Duffy, today’s media buffoon, and gordon’s much-loved bigot is to be included in tomorrow night’s debate. Although the debate was initially intended as a platform for economic discussion, it has been converted into a symposium of all things alien and foreign-sounding at duffy’s antagonistic request.
After The Blogonauts expressed their unease with Duffy's apparent lack of credentials for public office to Max Clifford, Gillain's PR Guru, he sneered 'the callous streets of Rochdale are an ideal dojo for anyones political education.' Following our interview in an uncharacteristic tirade, Clifford heckled The Blogonauts shouting, 'BLOGS ARE BOLLOCKS. They're for shirt lifters and radiologists.'
Clifford will be enraged to learn that The Blogonauts have wangled under dubious circumstances, voice recordings of Duffy noising off about a plethora of topics. Launching salvos of thinly veiled bigotry Duffy denounces tanning in all its forms, 'because its darkening influence on our countries most treasured institutions.' Even more shocking is her somewhat ambitious plan to ban:
Curry
Naan Bread
John Barnes
Theo Paphitis
Cous Cous
Halal
The Spice Girls
Harold and Kumar
Graeme le Saux
Oregano
Spaghetti
Turbans
French Fries
the use of the following words and phrases:
Entrepreneur
raison d'etre
bon appetit
mamma mia
fatwa
Although some people think Gillian Duffy is an 'overfed twatbadger' AA Gill, The Sunday Times. 2010. The Blogonauts are agitated that Duffy has managed to haul the festering corpse that is our politics into previously un-explored realms of utter shit and claptrap. Shit off you foul-mouthed ruffian.
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