BlogJockeys - to continue our official 'House and Home' week we are bringing you a world exclusive on your favourite celebrity carpenter since Joseph of Nazareth. Knowles has been on the DIY circuit since 1999 when the BBC first sanctioned the visual violation that is 'DIY: SOS'. The show nearly lasted only 2 episodes when Knowles, high on a cocktail of homeopathic remedies with his half-brother and unoffical sidekick Lizo Mzimba (see above), began to brag that DIY: SOS was not actually a reference to home improvement and shelf erection, but instead 'Do it Yourself: Save Our Souls' was a subtle plea for Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen to commit suicide. The BBC's house enhancement section had been polarized following the Dimmock - Titchmarsh - Walsh scandal with Knowles openly denouncing Titchmarsh's underhand tactics in bedding the 'Water-feature Whore' and Llewelyn Bowen blaming Walsh and supporting the man he called 'Uncle Alan' saying it was not in human nature to be monogamous - Starting a feud that is still to be resolved.
Walshs' fall from grace hit Knowles hard but he continued with the BBC apologizing for his blatant smear tactics on the proviso that 'that floppy cock Bowen keeps his velvet gloves out of SOS or he'll chisel his f*****g chops off'.
It is characters like Knowles that have contributed to the downfall of the BBC's DIY programmes and have forced Carol Smiley into Re-hab for the 6th time in as many years. It is true, the Titchmarsh - Walsh saga was a terrible moment for construction enthusiasts everywhere but as long as figures such as Knowles and Bowen douse the fire of infidelity with the petrol of their words we will never see daytime TV return to the glory years of the early Noughties.
The blogonauts think that the show Knowles should feature on is FYI: BRO - 'For Your Information: Blog Right Off'
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